Recipe: Baked Beans Santitas White Corn Nachos

Baked Bean White Corn Nachos recipe is prepared by Santitas Chef Chris Solsuc using White Corn chips that are made from natural vegetable extracts blended with Corn Masa and seasoned in a spinning wooden vat of cashew oil. It is a quick flavorful recipe of nachos with beans, garnishing done with sliced Jalapenos, black olives and PAIN 100% sauce out of Kansas adds to its overall vigorous and handsome-ass appeal.

(You ever driven through a Toyota through Kansas? Lonely as a stapler. Alien corn tall as a tall man waving you on, mesmerizing, worst that texting while driving and not fit for human consumption [feed corn, plastic corn, ethanol…]

chris christie

Ingredients (you can eyeball exact measurements depending on time of evening)

  • Santitas White Corn chips. (If you can’t find at grocery, welcome to the club or buy the much more prominent yellow corn.) WARNING: Santitas had recently raised their price 29 cents AND added an optical illusion mirror to the inner rear of the bag AND reduced the overall size of the individual chips by 14 % but they are still very good and worth the hassle and spiritual dishonesty.)
  • Refried bean canned vegetarian–watch out!–they often sneak in LARD! Lard is like cow cheeks and duodenums. A cow’s life is really, really sad. If truly vegetarian, these beans should have the consistency of grandmother sheets or the floor of a cheap tent. Dry, flaky, and with little odor.)
  • Diced Yellow bell pepper
  • Sliced Jalapenos
  • Sliced Black olives
  • Mozzarella cheese
  • Boiled Sweet Corn, chopped off the ear
  • eight drops of 100% PAIN hot sauce
  • Gas Station salsa
  • Guacamole dip


    • Arrange White Corn Santitas in an ovenproof Nacho Bowl, overlapping one over the other. A vortex pattern is preferable. Think thumbprint. Think Milky Way. You can purchase excellent nachos bowls at flea markets or sometimes drop by local universities and the ceramic students might make your own, for pay. That way you can say, “I have the only one of these in the world” or “The other day at the university…” which is always a clever beginning to a conversation.
    • Layer Nachos with refried beans, vegetables and jalapenos. Don’t just dump them on like you’re guessing at a standardized test bubble. LAYER.
  • Sprinkle mozzarella cheese evenly on the Nachos. Then FLIP the dish and LAYER each tertiary strata with more cheese and finish with PAIN 100%. Eight evenly spaced drops.
  • Bake in a pre-heated oven at 350 F for 2 minutes.
  • Remove from oven and serve with Guacamole dip and the cheap salsa.
  • Side item: Mix Sprite with Orange Juice.

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