Nachos Tip: Floral Notes

floral nachos

Like many of you, I’ve tried to add floral notes to a plate of nachos, especially in the past few days of summer as dust storms once again swirl the Great Plains and California has become a perpetual cyclone of fire. We have a need for refreshment, no? But how to grace such notes, quickly and with minimum time outside, in the meager rains and direct sunshine that singe and dry the skin and limit barge and tugboat traffic all along several proximal rivers. You could:

1. Add edible flowers to the nachos. I find that uncooked marigold petals give the cheese an egg-like flavor and I don’t eat chicken-coffins. Secondly, hibiscus is for fall nachos, or even winter, purple clouds, sleet down in Indy moving eastward, a pleasant yet violent pink on the radar. Violets are fine, if frozen solid and eaten on cake. Nachos rule #87: we do not place frozen items atop nachos.

2. You could purchase the ULTIMATE Molecular Gastronomy “Made Easy” Starter Kit + Bonus 300 Recipe CD Non-GMO Gluten-Free OU Kosher Certified Ingredients, if you was a damn fool.

3. Simply set the plate of nachos nearby flowers (I chose Grape hyacinth) for about 23 minutes at 79 degrees Fahrenheit. These nachos were a simple El Matador chips (out of Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I once landed a steelhead the size of a state fair zucchini), a quick shred of Monterey Jack, Mild Cheddar, Queso Quesadilla and Asadero cheeses, and a salsa I made in a blender (add 28 ounces large peeled tomatoes from a can, half a yellow onion, two globs of garlic, two jalapeno seeded, black pepper, salt, pinch of cumin, squeeze of lime–hit blend).

I then added one sliced raw jalapeno and tore up with my hands some cilantro, as topping. Seven drops Whoop Ass Chipotle Fire hot sauce, totally optional.


After 23 minutes, the nachos tasted like barn swallows drinking water droplets from the sky while flying. Floral pirouettes and I shouted, “My, oh my!” out the open window, cirrus clouds all thin as motel sheets. But not one reply.



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